More Like Her
by secretpen28
Summary: It's the times when you know you weren't good enough. It's the times when you know he'll never look at you the same. It's the times when you know she's officially taken your place. It's times like these that test you in ways you never thought possible...


**A/N: **So I haven't been on very much lately, but this story has been written since around the end of Feburary and I decided 'Hey! Why not put it up?' To me, it is obvious what the pairing is/was, but to others maybe not... I'll let you guys decide. If you have never read one of my stories before, I use song lyrics to tell a story, but unlike other writers who just say the lyrics between paragraphs, I weave the lyrics into the story. I thinks this gives it a more realistic feel and shows where inspiration for writing this song COULD HAVE come from. This story is based off the song 'More Like Her' by Miranda Lambert. I hope you enjoy!

More Like Her

This hallway, which used to be my own secret haven is, now, my own, personal hell. The bars on the doors that are used to keep criminals out feel as though they are there to keep me inside. The bells that ring, signaling us to move to our next class feel like alarms counting down the time I have left. The black and white tile that coats the floor to try and make the school more appealing, just makes the hallway longer, makes my escape further and further out of reach. And finally, the people, placed here to be your comfort, your rock, your shelter, might as well be invisible, because no one like that exists for me. Not anymore.

Have you ever listened to footsteps? Have you ever closed your eyes and tried to find a rhythmic pattern to them? And once you've closed your eyes to listen to the footsteps, have you ever noticed how your heart tries to match the tune played by them? I think I did that one too many times, because the footsteps that used to play music in my ears, I let get too close and those footsteps trampled right over my heart...

Everyday, it's during the walk to the door that the footsteps decide to intrude again. The only downside to having study hall last period, is that it's in the cafeteria, on the opposite side of the school from where I have to exit. Forcing me to face the footsteps that haunt me.

A few feet from leaving the cafeteria, I hear them. The footsteps. And I turn around and see them walking towards me, happy. And as though I didn't even exist, they walk around me, leaving me in their dust. Their happy, carefree dust, leaving me to wallow in my own washed-up memories

I remember when my happiness was exuded through everything I did. I remember when the footsteps hadn't intruded yet. I remember when the bars on the doors, didn't feel like a jail cell. I remember when the bells didn't sound like the last noise I would hear before I was gone. I remember when the tiles, instead of bringing me pain, filled me with joy. I remember when the people, well, no, that's not right, when the person that now, no longer exists... was mine.

Reflecting upon my past will just keep me in this hallway longer than needed, so I stop and continue walking, pacing my feet so that they get dangerously close to the rhythm of my heart, but still far enough away so that they don't match, so that I will never be hurt again.

All because of him. All because of the guy that took my bruised and beaten heart and threw it on the ground, not caring who or what picked it up. And it sat there, waiting, hoping, wanting for him to come back for it, waiting for him to care enough to keep it forever. But sadly, he never did. Sadly, nobody, nothing ever would. So it sat there, through the heat of summer, where it melted and searched for shelter from the pain. It sat there through the bitterness of winter, where it froze into ice, blending in with the white surrounding it so that no one or no thing could touch it. And finally, before the next summer came around, I searched high and low for it, hoping that through all of the pain it had been put through that it hadn't given up. Grass growing up around it, so as to protect it from anything coming in. That's how it had stayed, that's how it was today. Guarded, protected, scared.

They had stopped. And he was staring. Not at me. Never at me. But he was staring. Looking the same way he had before he tore me apart. His eyes filled with kindness, sincerity. Love. I had to turn my eyes away. I hoped that when I turned my back to face them, they would suddenly realize the pain that filled me and right then and there, it would stop, seize to exist and I wouldn't ever have to see them together again.

But when I turned back around, they were still there, holding hands in the hallway, staring at each other with these eyes. Eyes unexplainable to all others who are not the two involved. Eyes revealing everything about their relationship without giving too much away, as if it were a secret code, a mixture of impulse and trust, forming a bond that no one else could break. Eyes that seared through my skin because it brought back memories, painful, indescribable memories. Eyes that left me stunned, utterly and impossibly stunned.

It stunned me. Their relationship stunned me. Why? Because he was mine when it happened. When she happened. And to think that I knew, that I knew what was happening and let him lie, hoping that maybe the guilt would grow to be unbearable and he would come clean, would apologize and it would be for the better. That we would be closer because of it. But that never happened. He never confessed. He never felt guilty. He just left because he didn't care and he never would.

This realization caused me to wonder 'What the hell made her special?' 'Did he think I was stupid?' 'Did he think I was naïve?' 'What did she have that I didn't? 'What was so wrong with me that he believed he could just hurt me without even realizing the impact it would have upon me?'

The questions racked my brain and left me confused because I already knew the answers, I just didn't want to face the truth.

She made him happy. Her smile captured him and caused his smile to shine, a shine I was never able to achieve.  
Her presence caused him to forget everything around him, a presence I was never able to hold.  
Her hands fit perfectly in his own, a puzzle I was never able to complete.  
Her strength to never stray from her words left him entranced, a strength I was never able to uphold.  
Her love captivated him head to toe, a love I was never able to show.

If only my smile.  
If only my presence.  
If only my hands.  
If only my strength.  
If only my love.

If only. If only. If only.

The only problem was that one if only would lead to another, creating an ongoing circle ultimately leading to the fact that I wasn't good enough, that I never would be good enough for him, or he wouldn't have let me go.

They stopped holding hands and continued walking to the end of the hallway. Their departure, my cue to leave as well. And like every other day, he opened the door for her, letting her walk out in front of him. Me right behind her. He would look at me and nod his head, before I would walk out the door and down the sidewalk.

Their footsteps were now behind me and everyday as I left I believed this to be true: I believed that their footsteps echoing my own was a sign of good things to come, that tomorrow I would be okay with seeing them together because he was truly happy.

I knew that day would never come though. No matter how much I wanted to be happy for them. No matter how much I wished that I could just forget the past. No matter how much I told myself that I was okay. It didn't matter because I always had questions in the back of my mind. Could it be different? Could we still be together? Could everything be okay?

And it was because of those questions that I hadn't let go yet. Because it could be different. We could still be together. Everything could be okay. But with every answer there is always a catch, because yes, all of these things could be true, but ONLY if I was More Like Her...

**A/N:** So there's that... I hope you liked it enough to leave a comment or go read one of my other stories. If anyone has any songs for a short-story suggestion, just let me know. The Jonas Brothers album is coming out in like 45 minutes, so I bet there will be a few good ones to get me inspired. Thank you all for reading and hope you have a great day!

~secretpen28


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